I want this album

Mixmag Live mixed by High Contrast
The track selection on this one looks truly scrumptious, it's all about the Natural High-Desperado-Together VIP-When the Lights Go Down flow. It's interesting to see Mixmag endorsing this cd when they've been saying for years that dnb is dead, I wonder if they'll still be saying that as they count the money they make from the album...

'Bungling banana robber is jailed'

'As the "weapon" was thrust through the gap between the bullet proof security screen, one of the workers, Peter Humphrey said to a colleague: "He said he has a gun, but it might be a banana".'


"Freeze, this is a stick up!"

'Home alone mum's vile secret'

"I do not class myself as being racist. I know a couple of black kids who live around here and they do not have a problem with me."
Classy.

Immigrants murdered for the US-led war

Group of seven Indians and Pakistanis lured into Macedonia to be killed. Macedonian officials alleged to "... having orchestrated and carried out the murder of seven economic immigrants in order to prove to the US that Macedonia was participating in the international war on terrorism".

Sad lesson in life no. 2352

My car has the worst timing in the world. During the most extreme and prolonged period of cold weather this country has faced in a long time, my passenger window decides to stay jammed open. So I'm rolling around town in about 5 layers of clothes with rainwater landing on my frozen cheeks, and leaving work to find an inch of snow on my passenger seat. So I take it to the garage, it takes a couple of days but they replace the faulty part and it's working fine now alhamdolillah.
There is a standard procedure that takes place when making payments for things like this, I've been doing it for years:

1. Man-at-desk shows me an invoice filled with extra charges for odd things, eg 'investigation into missing clips',
2. Man-at-desk observes my mildly scruffy appearance and unnecessarily cheerful disposition,
3. Man-at-desk looks annoyed as I query some of the work, saying that's a different dept, points in the general direction of another dept,
4. Man-at-desk says I have to make this payment,
   
5. Man-at-desk checks my signature 5 times before giving my keys, points me to my car which is sandwiched between 3 other cars and a lorry,
6. I go home and have a cup of tea.

As I expected, steps 1 to 4 took place with the predictability of a giraffe tripping over a fat hippo, but before step 5 something happened that totally took me by surprise...

I was informed by my credit card people recently that for no reason I was being given a Gold card. This was when I had finished uni, was (and still am) £X,000 in debt and had no job or income.

... the look on his face when I handed over my gold card was amazing. He seemed hypnotised by the shiny plastic, and I was talking to a different person. Man-at-desk became the most helpful person ever, and I became 'sir'. He took me to the other department and spoke to them himself, I could see them running around looking for my extra bits and they filled out my forms in the time it took for man-at-desk to bring my car to the main exit, ready for me to conveniently drive away.

Clearly, the lesson I learnt was that some people respect people who have money. I was treated with more favour than before because man-at-desk thought I was loaded. Oh dear.

Living on the edge

I'm at work doing this I could get sacked but I don't care
bwahahahahahahhhhwahahahahahahahwhan yes